Father Norton wakes up to a beautiful and sunny Sunday morning and decides he just has to play golf.
He pretends he's sick and convinces the associate pastor to say Mass for him that day.
He then heads out of town to a golf course about 40 miles away so he won't run into anyone from his parish.
On the first tee he sees that he has the entire course to himself... everyone else is in church.
Watching all this from the Heavens, Saint Peter leans over to the Lord and asks "Are you going to let him get away with this?!
Just then Father Norton hits the ball and it heads straight for the pin dropping just short of it, rolls up and falls into the hole - a 420 yard hole in one!!
Astonished Saint Peter looks ar the Lord and asks "Why in Heaven did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiles and replies "Who is he going to tell?"
A father put his 3 year old dauhter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa"
The father asked "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"
The little girl said "I don't know daddy. It just seemed like the right thing to do"
The next day Grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma"
The next day the Grandmother died.
"Holy crap thought the father" "this kid is in contact with the other side"
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say
"God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy" He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day. Had lunch and watched the clock. He thought if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there. Drinking coffee, looking at his wach and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it. I've just spent the worst day of my life"
She said "You think you had a bad day. You'll never belive what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
Two old ladies were walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "My God! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...and cold, too!"
Well if you got to the end of this well done. I hope you all have a good week and remember..... to keep young you must .......