I'm off work for the next few days as I have an inner ear infection which is affecting my balance and making me giddy. So I'm only on here for short spells. I'm hoping to go back to work on Monday.


So here is my last joke for this week. Hope you all have a good weekend

An Irishman, Aussie and Scouser (Liverpudlian) are in a bar when they spot Jesus sat on a stool on his own.
They each send im a drink and Jesus drinks each pint slowly.
When he's finished he walks over to the Irishman, shakes his hand and thanks him for the Guiness. 'Blimey' says the Irishman 'my arthritis has gone'
Jesus then walks over to the Aussie and thanks him for the Fosters 'Crikey' says the Aussie' 'Me bad backs cured!'

Jesus then approaches the Scouser who runs away screaming!!
"GET LOST JESUS..... I'M ON DISABILITY"!!!



Clubs I now belong to

I'm off work for the next few days as I have an inner ear infection which is affecting my balance and making me giddy. So I'm only on here for short spells. It doesn't really seem to be getting any better as today I feel worse. I went to go and get some petrol and had to come home as couldn't cope with driving even the short distance.


Can I just say Happy Thanksgiving to all our American friends. Hope you don't overload on turkey



And here is today's joke

Three blondes are walking in the woods and they come upon some tracks.
The 1st says 'These are deer tracks'
The 2nd says 'No they're badger tracks'
The 3rd says 'No these are fox tracks'
Sadly whilst they were argueing they were all killed by the train.



Clubs I now belong to

I'm off work for the next few days as I have an inner ear infection which is affecting my balance and making me giddy. That's one of the reasons I haven't been on here for the last few days.






Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer.
Then on the way home grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab.
To sit on a Swedish sofa and watch USA shows on a Japanese TV.
And most of all being suspicious of anything foreign.
Oh and only in Britain can you get a pizza delivered faster to your home than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open but chain pens to the counter.
Also supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions whilst healthy people get their cigarettes from the front of the shop.
We might be British but by God we're funny....



Clubs I now belong to

I'm off work for the next few days as I have an inner ear infection which is affecting my balance and making me giddy. That's one of the reasons I haven't been on here for the last few days. So here is a joke to keep you 'giddy' with laughter ( I hope). Gotta go I can't look at this screen any longer





A man on a long haul flight noticed the beautiful young woman sitting next to him was reading a book titled 'Strange but true sexual facts'
'Interesting?' he asks
'Yes' she replies 'For instance, did you know that the American Red indian has the longest penis in the world and the Irishman has the thickest?'
'Oh I'm sorry' she continued 'My name is Helen and yours?'
.
.
.
.
'Tonto Murphy' he replies




Clubs I now belong to

A man meets a woman in a bar and buys her a drink. During this time he keeps looking at his watch and she asks why.
He says 'It's a dating watch, it's giving me information about you'
'What does it say?' She asks.
'It says you have no knickers on'
'It's wrong' she says
'I know' he replies
'It's an hour fast'





Clubs I now belong to