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Some things to think about

Journal Entry: Tue Mar 4, 2014, 1:34 AM

*APROSDOKIANS* are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station .

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks .

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR."

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

And.....Finally:

27. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.



Skin by NellyAsher
Skin by NellyAsher (modified by Deb-e-ann)
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:iconnothingcouldfall:
nothingcouldfall Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014   Traditional Artist
Hah, these are great. Thanks for posting.
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014
You're welcome. Today's is a good one as well :D
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:iconnothingcouldfall:
nothingcouldfall Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014   Traditional Artist
Hah, yes indeed :D thanks :)
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:iconpiglet365:
piglet365 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014
I love 'em!! I had no idea that was what they were called. Thanks for that Deb. Difficult to know which is my favourite ..probably 21!!!:happybounce: 
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014
I think 15, 16 but most of all 4:lol:
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:iconk1irsten:
k1irsten Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
 Love this!!!!
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Good :D
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:iconmayebony:
MayEbony Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ha ha - all fantastic, and alarmingly true LOL
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Yes they are :lol:
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:iconcoffeenoir:
coffeenoir Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
What a great treasure trove.:D
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Yes they are :D
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:iconmineyia:
Mineyia Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
This made my day, thank you so much :love: :happybounce:
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
You're welcome :)
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:iconsesam-is-open:
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
It was a real pleasure to read.:):hug:
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Good :lol:
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:iconsesam-is-open:
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014
MuchLove by KmyGraphic
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:iconokavanga:
Okavanga Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
Good selection - :iconthumbsupplz:

David
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Yes they are good :D
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:iconshlomitmessica:
ShlomitMessica Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Great,I can adopt some :laughing:
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
I'm trying to remember them so I can put them into a conversation :lol:
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:iconshlomitmessica:
ShlomitMessica Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
good luck with that- I always forget jokes and good lines.
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:iconstephgabler:
StephGabler Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Professional Photographer
These are fantastic! Well done!
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
My pleasure. :D
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:icon2112yyz2112:
2112yyz2112 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
I think Winnie may have lifted #6 from Lord Bert.....:)
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
It is true though isn't it :)
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:iconglasshouse-1:
GlassHouse-1 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
Very, very funny.
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
:nod:
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:iconkayaksailor:
kayaksailor Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
:w00t: :highfive: these are excellent! Thank YOU for my day's laugh :blowkiss:
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
I like to make people laugh with my journals, so my pleasure :D
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:iconholymacro:
holymacro Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
awesome play on words Deb!!!!God less!Hugs!Love! Glen
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Number 4 is my favourite and I've got to get that into some conversations :lol:
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:iconholymacro:
holymacro Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
I have to check out number 4!!!!God bless!Hugs!  Glen:icontoyhorseplz: :happybounce: :happybounce:

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:iconjulianasgrandma:
JulianasGrandma Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
Great, sure made me laugh:laughing:
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
I'm glad :)
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:iconjulianasgrandma:
JulianasGrandma Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Smile2 by KmyGraphic
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:iconflamingodancer123:
flamingodancer123 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
I love it, you make me laugh today, thank you!
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconthe-dude-l-bug:
The-Dude-L-Bug Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Smile generating for sure.
I've heard many of them before, but slightly different versions..

17. Ya don't need a parachute to skydive, but for increasing the odds of a repeat performance.
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Yep! It sure helps :D
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:iconpridescrossing:
PridesCrossing Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
:rofl: Love this!
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Thanks Sandy :D
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:iconpridescrossing:
PridesCrossing Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
:):hug:You're very welcome!
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:iconmypeanutgallery:
MYPeanutGallery Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
LOL! This is just what I needed this morning! Laughter is the best medicine :laughing: Personally, I love #5. :hug:
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
It's number 4 for me. That could easily be the last word in an argument :lol:
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:iconmypeanutgallery:
MYPeanutGallery Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Me too! I tend to be rather opinionated. But then, I'm always right.  :laughing:
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
And me!!!! Isn't that so typical of us women :lol:
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:icondavincipoppalag:
davincipoppalag Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
they're great lol
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:icondeb-e-ann:
Deb-e-ann Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
You've got to try and use number 4. It's brilliant!!
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:icondavincipoppalag:
davincipoppalag Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
hehehe indeed lol
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:iconblueivyviolet:
BlueIvyViolet Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
lol
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