On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of Irish countryside.The Pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about Golf greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing professional is.
"Top of the morning to u sir" says the attendant.Tiger nods a quick "hello" & bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"Wat are those?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, wat on this God's earth are they for?"? Inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Holy S**t", says the Irishman,
"BMW thinks of everything!"
Man takes his wife to an art gallery and they stop to look at a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her private parts.The wife moves on but notices her husband still staring at the painting.."What you waiting for?" she shouts..He replies,"Autumn".
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Laugh every day it keeps the wrinkles away!